Kari's Fairytale Collection
by Fluff Inc
Summary: The YnM cast becomes characters in the most famous children's fairytales with a twist. *7th chapter... rather lame though-_-U
1. Rapunzel: Chapter One

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Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Rapunzel  
  
By: Kari  
  
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Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Rapunzel is a rightful property of the Brothers Grimm, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI.  
  
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Narrator (that would be me, Kari): There was once a man and his wife who had long wished for a child, and they had reason to hope that heaven would surely grant their wish . . . a child of their very own.  
  
There was a little window at the back of their house, which over-looked the wonderful scenery of a grand garden, filled with all kinds of sweets, of huge apple pies the size of refrigerators, of mounts of different flavored ice cream, different flavored bonbons, and some lush gum in all kinds of colors. It was however surrounded by a high wall, and no one dared to enter it, because a powerful, evil, psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy, delusional wizard owned it.  
  
Arrow: *points to Muraki* psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy, delusional.  
  
Muraki (Wizard): OO;; Mou, that's so mean Kari-chan~!!  
  
Kari: I'm not the one in charge of the script. Tsuzuki described you like that, not me.  
  
Muraki: How mean ;__;  
  
Kari: One day the woman standing at this window and looking into the garden saw a bed planted with enticing pocky^^;; it looked so delicious, and sweet that she longed to eat it every day; and she knew she could never be satisfied, that she looked so pale and miserable.  
  
Tatsumi (Husband): What ails you, my dear wife? *twitch, twitch*GAH~!! Why do I have to do this~?! Kari you shall experience a very PAINFUL death~!!  
  
Kari: OO;;  
  
Watari (Wife): Alas~!! If I cannot get any of those pocky to eat from the garden behind our house, I shall die as a sad woman *insert ever so dramatic flair from a sobbing Watari-chan* Wow never realized I was such a WONDERFUL actor.  
  
DWFC (Drooling Watari Fans' Club): *of course people they're drooling*  
  
(A/N: That is IF he has ONE.)  
  
Watari: Of course I have one~!! I think. . .  
  
Tatsumi: Hmph. I'd be the first one to celebrate after you die-  
  
Kari: Tatsumi-chan~!! I'll feed you to Tsuzuki-chan if you don't do this properly~!!  
  
Tatsumi: O.o *clears throat* as I was saying, before I would never let my glorious *twitch, twitch* wife die until I fetch her some of that pocky, whatever it may costs me *dramatic flair much to Tatsumi's chagrin*  
  
Kari: Wow, that rhymed~!! So in the twilight he climbed over the wall into the evil psychopath-I mean wizard owned, and took it back to his wife.  
  
Watari: *immediately stuffs the pocky in his mouth and finishes it in one gulp* ^_________^ I'm so happy thank you my dearest husband~!! *insert yet another ever so dramatic flair*  
  
Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch* How could you even smile~?! Kari, you know how to exorcist demons right?  
  
Kari: OO;; Yeah I do, but let's not talk about that we have a story to finish, as I was saying. . . It was so very, very nice and she enjoyed it immensely, that her longing for it increased three-fold.  
  
Watari: *fakes coughing* my dear husband~!! I need pocky~!! Or I shall die~!! *mocks faint*  
  
Tatsumi: serves him right-I mean I shall get it quickly for you *twitch, twitch* my dear wife. Do I actually have to follow the script. Why can't I just kill him-or. . . her? O.o  
  
Kari: NO you can't its not in the script. So in the twilight he sent out gain, determined to get his wife (Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch*) some pocky. When he got over the wall he was terrified, because he had came face to face with the mental patient-I mean wizard.  
  
Muraki: That's the second mistake you made~!!  
  
Kari: OO don't sue me. Sue Hisoka and Tsuzuki, they're the ones who made the script~!!  
  
Tatsumi: I see. That's why the garden consisted of sweets, and the rampion was replaced with pocky OO;;  
  
Muraki: *scary aura around him* how dare you come into my garden like a thief and steal my. . . err pocky. Yeah that's right my pocky~!! *lightning flashes, and thunder rolls in the background* it shall be the worse for you.  
  
Tatsumi: ALAS~!! *dramatic flair* be merciful-This is getting too far Kari~!!-to me. I am only here for necessity. My wife *twitch, twitch* sees your garden from the window, and she has such a longing for it that she would die, if she could not get some of it, she has been so sad and pale and miserable~!!  
  
Arrow: *points to Watari who is playing with 003 in the background and laughing his butt off* sad and pale and miserable wife.  
  
Kari: And so the-  
  
Muraki: *makes scary face* Kari~!!  
  
Kari: ^^;; I know, I know, the WIZARD's anger abated and he made a condition with the husband.  
  
Muraki: If it is you say, I will allow you to take away with you as much pocky as you like, but on one condition. You must give me the child your wife (Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch*) is about to bring to this world. I will take care of it like a mother-I mean father and all will be well with it.  
  
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To be continued. . . ?  
  
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Kari: So minna, what do you think of it? Like it hate it?  
  
Tatsumi: I HATE IT~!!  
  
Watari: I LOVE IT~!!  
  
Muraki: *no comment*  
  
Kari: ^^;; I wasn't asking for your opinion. Anyways please review~!! Anyways can you guess who would Rapunzel be? It might be a little bit obvious though . . . ^^ 'Til next time minna~!! This is dedicated to Patty- chan (or Jap_girl). Advance Happy Birthday~!! I'll make sure Hisoka-chan strips for you.  
  
Hisoka: *O*  
  
Kari: ^^;; It was a joke. . .  
  
Hisoka: *sighs* OO;; you scared me.  
  
Kari: But. . . if you think about it she might like that.  
  
Hisoka: *promptly dies -again-  
  
Kari: Review minna~!! 


	2. Rapunzel: Chapter Two

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Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Rapunzel  
  
By: Kari  
  
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Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Rapunzel is a rightful property of the Brothers Grimm, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI.  
  
Kari: Thanks to everyone who reviewed~!! I'd like to especially thank them. Tatsumi-chan please help me~!!  
  
Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch* Thanks goes to ***ryuuen-san. Thank you very much for being the first one to review.  
  
Muraki: *starry-eyed* UWAA~!! I never knew I was such a wonderful gardener~!! I'll give you all the pocky you want . . . But you didn't have to call me eccentric, perverted, delusional OO;;  
  
Tatsumi: To the ***Literary Eagle-san, Kari says that she will definitely continue this *twitch, twitch* I can't see what's so cute about this fic . . .  
  
Watari: They were probably moved by my supreme skills in acting *SD starry- eyed like Muraki*  
  
Tatsumi: *still twitching* to ***Kikkyo-san Kari is very happy that the story made you laugh, although it did nothing to me but torture and continuous twitching, Kari wants to thank you, and for the next fairy tale it would be Jack and the Beanstalk *twitch, twitch* I read the whole script and it was much more horrible than this one *twitch, twitch*  
  
Muraki: I feel so LURVED~!! *heart and flowery background, Watari-chan helping with the sparkly effect*  
  
Tatsumi: Kari expresses her thanks to ***Moon Flower-san, I would also like to thank you for the pitying me, but please you did NOT have to encourage the sugar-high girl to continue.  
  
Muraki and Watari: *still completely oblivious and enjoying the sparkly-y effect of the background* ^_______^  
  
Tatsumi: To ***Koyuki-san, we also appreciate your review, actually I don't only Kari and the oblivious two idiots are the only ones. And much to my horror, she WILL continue this ficcie, I really can't see what's so cute about this fic.  
  
Muraki and Watari: WE ARE~!! *emerges from the dressing room wearing pink tutus and performs the Waltz of the Flowers*  
  
Tatsumi: *he's still twitching* to ***Vulpick-san, yes I agree at first it was supposedly Watari but Kari's insanity level was very high at that moment and made someone else Rapunzel. And yes this is the "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair" thing-y and if you find her name weird, read on further because Kari's insanity has just got a level higher, and she changed the name.  
  
Watari: 8D why don't we let Tatsumi try on our tutus?  
  
Muraki: 8D such a wonderful idea~!!  
  
Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch* to ***stepcie-san Kari thanks you and she is very glad that you love it.  
  
Kari: Thanks everyone~!! I updated the next chapter as fast as I can~!!  
  
Watari and Muraki: *attacks an unsuspecting Tatsumi. There are lots of smoke, and occasional feet and hands appearing, and shouts of agony (by Tatsumi) and a pink tutu*  
  
Kari: ^-^ Hope you enjoy the second chapter~!!  
  
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Narrator (Yes, its me Kari): In the last chapter, the perverted mental-  
  
Muraki: Kari~!!  
  
Kari: ^^;; gomen, gomen sue Tsuzuki and Hisoka~!! As I was saying, in the last chapter, the wizard, Muraki, made a deal with the husband (Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch*) that they will give him their first-born child in exchange for all the pocky they want for his sad, pale, and miserable wife . . . In his fear-  
  
Tatsumi: I do NOT fear the hentai~!!  
  
Muraki: Gah~!! Would everyone stop calling me names~!!  
  
Arrow: *points to Watari who is still playing with 003 and eating some chocolate pocky* sad, pale and miserable wife.  
  
Kari: -As I was saying, in exchange of all the pocky they want the husband (Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch* and the wife (Watari: ^__________^) decided to exchange their baby for the pocky. When the child was born the wizard appeared, and took it away with her-I mean him~!!  
  
Muraki: *SD murderous mode*  
  
Kari: ^^;; Heh, hehe, gomen Muraki-chan, sue Hisoka-chan and Tsuzuki-chan, anyways. . . The wizard took away the baby and named her (or should I say him^^;;) and named her Pockyzel (A/N: I swear there is an explanation for the name~!! You see in the real story the wife craved for rampion, and thus the witch named Rapunzel, the baby which is after the name rampion, and as for this ficcie . . . Dammit, I just read an angst-y CCS ficcie, and I can't help laughing~!! Gomen~!! I just finished some cups of coffee)  
  
Pockyzel (A/N: I still can't help laughing dammit~!! BWAHAHAHA~!!) Was the most beautiful child under the sun. And minna-san Pockyzel is starring as. . . *drum rolls* Hisoka-chan~!!  
  
Hisoka: *appears with long blond hair and is wearing a dress*  
  
Watari: *is still eating pocky and playing with 003* I'm your sad, pale miserable mother~!! ^_________^  
  
Tsuzuki: *starry-eyed* wow Hisoka-chan you look cute with long hair.  
  
Hisoka: *SD murderous ogre, and is currently screaming bloody murder*  
  
Tatsumi: *veins popping out* Choose Kurosaki-kun~!! Be Rapunzel-err I mean Pockyzel or strip for Patty-sama *twitch, twitch* (A/N: since this is dedicated to Patty (Jap_girl) so I've asked (Tatsumi: more like blackmailed) ^^;; The YnM cast to call her that.  
  
Hisoka: *immediately shuts up* I'LL DO IT~!!  
  
Muraki: *starry-eyed* Fufufufu~!! I get a daughter-  
  
Hisoka: *hits Muraki with a plastic bottle*  
  
Muraki: @_____@  
  
Kari: OI~!! That's my plastic bottle I hit Yuri-chan with~!! Why do you have it?!  
  
Hisoka: *sticks tongue out* Now proceed with the story narrator~!!  
  
Kari: OO;; Err, okay, when Pockyzel-  
  
Hisoka: *returns to his SD murderous mode* Call me Hisoka~!!  
  
Kari: O~okay, when Hisoka turned twelve, the evil wizard shut him up in a tower, which stood in the wood, it had neither staircase nor doors, but only a little window quite high up in the wall. When the witch-I mean the wizard-  
  
Muraki: GAH~!! Why is it witch now~?!  
  
Kari: ^^;;When the wizard wanted to enter the tower she stood at the foot of the tower and cried:  
  
Muraki: Pockyzel-!! *flying projectiles hit him, then a piano, a fridge, and a large piece of boulder* XO  
  
Hisoka: *emerges from the tower all SD and murderous looking* HAVE I TOLD YOU NEVER CALL ME BY THAT REVOLTING NAME~!!!  
  
Muraki: ^^;; Gomen, gomen, Hisoka~!! Hisoka~!! Let down your fake plastic silicon hair~!!  
  
Tatsumi: OO Does the 'fake plastic silicon' description has to be added?  
  
Kari: OO;; I don't know I didn't make the script. Hisoka had splendid long hair as fine as spun gold. As soon as she-  
  
Hisoka: *still in his angry murderous state* I am a HE~!!  
  
Kari: ^^;; As soon as HE heard the voice of the wizard he unfastened his plaits and twisted his hair around a hook by the window. It fell downward, and the wizard climbed by it. It happened a few years later that the King's son rode through the forest.  
  
Tsuzuki: *all starry-eyed, and is waving frantically* High to all my beautiful fans out there~!! ^___________^ * is currently riding Tohda (A/N: is the spelling correct) who looks silly wearing a costume of a brown donkey*  
  
Tohda: - -  
  
Tatsumi: He's so loyal to Tsuzuki.  
  
Muraki and Watari: *nods to in agreement*  
  
Kari: Hmm, funny I though it was horse . . . oh well as he approached the heart of the forest he came closer to the tower. From thence he heard a song so lovely that he stopped to listen.  
  
Tsuzuki: *continues to wave frantically and is still riding a 'running' Tohda* ^_______^  
  
Arrow: *points at Tsuzuki* idiot.  
  
Kari: *clears throat* AS I was saying he heard a song so lovely that he STOPPED to LISTEN and NOT lick lollipops.  
  
Tsuzuki: *has spotted a lollipop (A/N: Wonder where he got that) and is now licking it while riding a STILL running Tohda*  
  
Hisoka: *now completely SD murderous, and very, VERY angry* TSUZUKI~!! STOP The FRIGGIN' WAVING AND STOP CIRCLING THE DAMNED TOWER~!! RIGHT NOW~!! *Looks silly in a pink pastel dress hurling a large wooden door. *  
  
Tsuzuki: *immediately stops and turns into and SD puppy* UWAA~!! HE SCREAMED AT ME- *hit by a big, thick wooden door* XO  
  
Hisoka: He stopped, Kari please continue. . .  
  
Kari: OO;; Er. . .okay, the prince stopped to listen because of the loveliness of the voice. It was Hisoka who in his loveliness made his sweet voice resound to pass away the time. The king's son wanted too much to join her . . .  
  
Tsuzuki: T_____T NO~!! GET ME AWAY FROM HISOKA~!!! I NEVER WANT TO APPROACH HIM EVEN IF HE IS MY PARTNER~!! HE'LL SEND ME TO MY DEATH~!!  
  
Tohda: *looking ridiculous, still wearing the donkey costume, pulling Tsuzuki by his legs who has now secured his arms around a large tree*  
  
Hisoka: *smirking triumphantly in the background*  
  
Watari, Muraki and Tatsumi: OO;; isn't he dead already?  
  
Kari: ^-^As I was saying, the king's son sought for a door for his want to join him, but to no avail he found none. He rode home but the song had touched his heart so deeply that he went into the forest everyday to listen.  
  
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To be continued . . .?  
  
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Kari: The next chapter would be the end of this fairytale which was especially revised by me with the help from Tsuzuki-chan and Hisoka-chan The next fairytale would be Jack and the Beanstalk~!!  
  
Tatsumi: Kari says please review  
  
Muraki and Watari: *dancing together*  
  
Tatsumi: The level of their insanity has just gone up the moment you wrote this thing.  
  
Kari: ^_^ How nice  
  
Hisoka: OO;; Err, yes remember to review, minna. 


	3. Rapunzel: Chapter Three

Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Rapunzel  
  
By: Kari  
  
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Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Rapunzel is a rightful property of the Brothers Grimm, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI. Warning: OOC-ness. Happy birthday to Jap_girl~!! ^_____^  
  
Kari: ^-^ Everyone's SOO nice I haven't had a flame yet.  
  
Tatsumi: Someone out there please flame her.  
  
Hisoka: She wouldn't stop even if she did get flames she's incredibly thick- skinned.  
  
Kari: ^-^ Hisoka-chan it's your turn to help me to thank our nice reviewers~!!  
  
Hisoka: OO;; Will I get be assaulted by maniacs and be forced to wear a pink tutu like someone *cough*Tatsumi*cough*  
  
Tatsumi: *twitch, twitch*  
  
Kari: I don't know~!!  
  
Hisoka: OO;; Kari wants to thank ***Literary Eagle-san. I'm glad you like it~!! Thank you for being the first one to review the second chapter.  
  
Tsuzuki: ^__________^ ***Literary Eagle-san liked you Tohda~!! Wow~!! You're a great hit.  
  
Tohda: *still wearing the donkey costume* - -U  
  
Hisoka: OO;; also thanks goes to ***yukie-chan. I hope that Kari updated soon enough. She's also sorry that the chapters are short; she says she'll try to make them longer.  
  
Tsuzuki: Does that mean I have to write longer scripts? But my hands are sore from all that typing~!!  
  
Hisoka: *hits Tsuzuki with a plastic bottle* what do you mean by typing~?! Maybe you mean by taking off those candy wrappers. You hardly do anything but criticize, and eat~!! I do everything if you must know~!!  
  
Kari: . I still have to know how the heck Hisoka got my plastic bottle~!!  
  
Hisoka: Kari would also like to thank ***Vulpick-san, yes it is interesting, but it is complete torture.  
  
Watari: That's not true Soka-chan~!! It's SOO much fun~!!!  
  
Hisoka: OO;; Err, yeah, whatever. Thanks also to ***Koyuki-san so you also enjoy Muraki's pocky, hmm, and about the hair thing its much more interesting than being cut.  
  
Muraki: UWA~!! Maybe I should be a gardener instead of a sadistic doctor~!! *SD starry-eyed*  
  
Hisoka: OO;; O~kay, thanks goes to ***Gigi Natsuko-san thank you for reviewing *twitch, twitch*  
  
Tsuzuki: *SD starry-eyed* UWA~!! Look Soka-chan, someone thinks you're cut in a wig and a dress. I told you so~!!  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* also to ***Moon Flower-san, hmmm, maybe I should suggest that . .  
  
Tatsumi: Thanks you ***Moon Flower-san~!! Yes maybe Oriya would like to take part of this suicide. You should stop writing these things, its murderous, and VERY bad for our health.  
  
Kari: ^-^ It's not suicidal Sei-chan~!! And I would never stop writing this, even if you begged me, anyways, here's the next chapter please review~!!  
  
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Narrator (Its still me, Kari): As I was saying the prince was lured to the beautiful voice that he visited the forest everyday to listen to it.  
  
Tsuzuki: - - ZZZzzzzzz . . .  
  
Hisoka: *is totally ticked off and is now hurling a large statue which of course hits Tsuzuki* YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LISTENING~!! NOT SLEEPING~!!  
  
Tsuzuki: XO  
  
Kari: OO;; I think you hit him TOO hard. Anyways, once when he was hidden behind a tree he saw a wizard come to the tower and call out:  
  
Muraki: Pocky-  
  
Hisoka: *dangerously points his gun at him*  
  
Muraki: OO;; I mean, HISOKA~!! Hisoka~!! Let down your fake plastic silicon hair~!!  
  
Kari: Hisoka lowered her plaits of hair and the wizard climbed up to her.  
  
Tsuzuki: If that is the ladder by which one ascends, I will try my luck myself~!! ^_____^  
  
Kari: And the next day when it began to grow dark he went to the tower and cried:  
  
Tsuzuki: Hisoka, Hisoka let down your hair~!!  
  
Kari: The hair fell down and the King's son climbed by it. To say that Hisoka was terrified was an understatement. He started hurling at the prince EVERYTHING, and believe me for a small tower there was a lot.  
  
Hisoka: *throws at Tsuzuki EVERYTHING, which consists of a coffee table (Made of glass, ouch), the thick wooden door (very thick), the chairs, the bed (big, VERY big four poster bed), and everything hanging from the wall, including a mirror (glass again), and the big wooden cabinet*  
  
Tsuzuki: @____@  
  
Kari: But the prince spoke to her kindly and told her that his heart had been so deeply touched by her song that he had spoken so kindly and he had no peace and was obliged to see her.  
  
Tsuzuki: NO~!!! I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR HISOKA'S VOICE EVER AGAIN~!!! NEVER AGAIN~!! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE HIS SHADOW~!!  
  
Hisoka: *admiring his fingernails*  
  
Tatsumi: *arrives all murderous looking and glares at them* TSUZUKI IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS PROPERLY I WILL FIRE YOU~!! THE SAME GOES FOR YOU HISOKA~!!  
  
Tsuzuki and Hisoka: *O*  
  
Kari: *clears throat* Then Hisoka lost fear.  
  
Hisoka: *twitching next to a blissfully oblivious Tsuzuki who is sipping his tea*  
  
Kari: And when the prince asked him she would have him for a husband-  
  
Hisoka: *faints* XO  
  
Tsuzuki: *spits his tea and faints* XO  
  
Kari: OO;; I thought the two of you made the script, how come you're so surprise?  
  
Tatsumi: Because I replaced the 'when the prince asked Hisoka to give him some apple pie, and he obliged' part and changed it with the line you just read.  
  
Kari: OO I see, anyways, when the prince asked this he saw that the prince was young and handsome-  
  
Hisoka: *is now conscious but them he faints (again)*  
  
Tsuzuki: ^________^ He finally admitted it~!!  
  
Tatsumi: Once again I changed the 'Hisoka just wanted to kill the prince again and land him in hell' part.  
  
Kari: OO;; Okay, then Hisoka thought. . .  
  
Hisoka: I'm not saying it~!!  
  
Tatsumi: Say it Kurosaki-kun or I'll reveal to the whole world your picture while taking a shower.  
  
Hisoka: *faints again*  
  
Jap_girl: *Appears from nowhere* Give it to me~!! I'll make more copies~!!  
  
Tatsumi: No need for that I've had enough copies to last a lifetime-err rather to last the afterlife.  
  
Jap_girl: O^-^O I've got to get my hands on that picture~!!  
  
Hisoka: HewilllovemebetterthanthepervertthanyesIwillgladlygowithyoubutIdonotknowhowI  
  
amtogetdownfromthistower.Whenyoucomewillyoubringaskeinofsilkwithyoueverytime ?IwilltwistitintoaladderandwhenitislongenoughIwilldescendbyitandyoucantakeme awaywithyouby yourhorse.  
  
Kari: ^^;; Wow he said so much in a mouthful. Your amazing Soka-chan~!! That would be translated into something like this: "He will love me better than the pervert than yes I will gladly go with you but I do not know how I am to get down from this tower. When you come will you bring a skein of silk with you every time? I will twist it into a ladder and when it is long enough I will descend by it and you can take me away with you by your horse." Okay then Hisoka arranged with the prince that he should come and see her every evening, for the old wizard came in at daytime.  
  
Arrow: *points at Muraki* psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy, delusional, and OLD wizard.  
  
Muraki: MOU~!! Everyone's just so mean. I'm not that old~!! And I am not psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy and delusional . . . well just a bit, BUT I'm not that horrible.  
  
Tatsumi: WhatEVER.  
  
Arrow: *points at Watari who is stuffing himself with pocky* sad, pale, and miserable wife.  
  
Kari: The wizard discovered nothing until Hisoka asked . . .  
  
Hisoka: Tell me, stupid perverted wizard, why are you so much heavier to draw up than that bottomless spit Tsuzuki is?  
  
Kari: OO;; that's not exactly the line.  
  
Hisoka: They matter not. -_-  
  
Muraki: Why you WICKED, EVIL-Wanted to say that for SOO long-child~!! What do you say? I though I had separated you from the world, and yet you have deceived me~!!  
  
Kari: In the wizard's rage he seized Hisoka's beautiful hair twisted it twice around her left hand, and snatched a flame thrower and burned all of Hisoka's hair.  
  
Muraki: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Uwa~!! I burned my hand~!! *jump off the tower*  
  
Arrow: *points to Muraki*idiot flame thrower wielding evil, psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy, delusional wizard that jumps out of tall towers  
  
Kari: Hisoka was in so much grief since the wizard had just got rid of his only treasured possession.  
  
Hisoka: ^______________^ Thanks Muraki my head feels a lot lighter. That wig was so heavy~!!  
  
Kari: OO;; Anyway, the wizard was so merciless that he took poor Hisoka away in the wilderness where she forced her to live in the greatest grief and misery. In the evening of the day on which the wizard had banished Hisoka, the wizard fastened the plaits which she had cut off to the hook by the window, and when the prince came and called.  
  
Tsuzuki: Hisoka, Hisoka let down your hair! GAH~!! Don't throw anything sharp~!  
  
Kari: The wizard lowered the hair, and the prince climbed it, but there he found not his beloved Hisoka but the wizard, who looked at him with pure hateful eyes.  
  
Muraki: *starry-eyed* Tsuzuki-san, you came to see me~!! 8D  
  
Kari: *clears throat* as I was saying the wizard explained to Tsuzuki the cruelty he did to Hisoka and told him that he will never see Hisoka again.  
  
Muraki: *still chibi starry-eyed* 8D Tsuzuki-san.  
  
Kari: The young prince beside himself with grief and in his despair he sprang out the window.  
  
Tsuzuki: Yes~!! Hisoka's gone~!! No one's going to throw anything at me anymore~!! *dancing around the room* 8D  
  
Kari: OO;; Tsuzuki-san it says here that you have to jump out the window.  
  
Tsuzuki: Oh, okay I will *jumps off the window*  
  
Kari: He was not killed, but the thorns among which he fell scratched his eyes and he was blinded  
  
Tsuzuki: WOW~!! What a beautiful sunset~!!  
  
Kari: OO;; anyways then- O_O  
  
Tatsumi: Kari-san please continue, I really would appreciate it if you finish this one as soon as possible.  
  
Kari: OO;; gomen Tatsumi, but it looks like that. . . the two of them hadn't finish writing the script  
  
Tatsumi: OO  
  
Hisoka: *appears from nowhere* I'll finish it~!!  
  
Tatsumi: Then continue at once~!!  
  
Hisoka: Okay, I'll have to be the narrator, Kari you'll be the audience.  
  
Kari: Okay, I'd be obliged to.  
  
Hisoka: *clears throat* The blind prince was soon attacked by rabid fan girls, an angry Tatsumi, a crazed Muraki, and a mental patient, the GuShoShin, by Russians, then some cursed stuffed animals, and by a dog. ^___________^ and everyone lives happily ever after.  
  
Kari: Isn't that a little bit harsh?  
  
Hisoka: It's NOTHING~!! Okay minna the next fairytale would be Jack and the Beanstalk~!! Specially revised by Tatsumi-san, I quit the job if all of you should know. Remember REVIEW~!! Or else I will send the rabid fan girls, an angry Tatsumi, a crazed Muraki, and a mental patient, the GuShoShin, Russians, then some cursed stuffed animals, and a dog after you~!!  
  
Kari: ^^;; Review~!!  
  
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To be continued . . .?  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 


	4. Jack and the Beanstalk: Chapter Four

Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Jack and the Beanstalk  
  
By: Kari  
  
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Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Jack and the Beanstalk belongs to its rightful owners, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI. Warning: OOC-ness.  
  
Kari: Hey Everyone~!! Thanks to my lovely reviewers~!! Muraki-chan please help me...  
  
Muraki: *SD starry-eyed* I'd be obliged to do that~~! First goes to ***Literary Eagle-san thank you again for being the first one to review the chapter~~!! I know I'm so cute when I'm in SD form~~!  
  
Tatsumi: Very modest too.  
  
Muraki: To ***Gigi Natsuko-san Kari's glad that this is worth of your attention. Your compliment is appreciated~~! Yes, Soka-chan was so KAWAII in a dress...  
  
Hisoka: *vein popping out*  
  
Muraki: To ***Vulpick-san don't worry we won't send the rabid fan girls, an angry Tatsumi, a crazed Muraki, a mental patient, the GuShoShin, Russians, then some cursed stuffed animals, and a dog. Did you know that Russians ate Pluto...?  
  
Tatsumi: The last comment was totally irrelevant to our subject.  
  
Tsuzuki: Is Pluto sweet?  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch*  
  
Muraki: To ***Moon Flower-san we are all glad you liked it~~! And we have some good news... Tatsumi-san please do the honors~~!!  
  
Tatsumi: Since I was appointed by Kari to revise Jack and the Beanstalk, due to Kurosaki-kun quitting, I will introduce some new characters... One of them would be Oriya-san especially for ***Moon Flower-san's entertainment. Please enjoy.  
  
Oriya: *dies* XO  
  
Muraki: Thanks ***Moon Flower-san~!! I know that my dancing skills far exceed Watari-chan's~!!  
  
Watari: At least I'm not a idiot flame thrower wielding evil, psychopathic, eccentric, sadistic, perverted, crazy, delusional wizard that jumps out of tall towers. Ph, well at least I know some people do appreciate my dancing, ne Tsuzuki-kun?  
  
Tsuzuki: - -  
  
Muraki: OO;; He's sleeping again.  
  
Hisoka: Didn't he just comment that Pluto is sweet?  
  
Muraki: OO;; Anways thanks to ***Koyuki-san for the review, and yes I love happy endings  
  
Tsuzuki: *SD inu with large watery eyes* I was chased by cursed stuffed animals~!! What was happy about that~?!  
  
Muraki: OO;; weren't you just sleeping? Anyways also to ***Sissy & Kody, thanks you very and much and we are glad that you like it~~!! Hope that your ficcie is successful; Kari-chan would like to see it when she has time.  
  
Kari: Thanks Muraki-chan now on with the insanity~!!! 8D  
  
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Kari: I'm still the narrator. And now a new fairytale~!! ^________^ It's Jack and the Beanstalk, and guess what, Sei-chan is our new scriptwriter. Okay, let's get started . . .  
  
There was once a widow who lived with her son Jack and a cow called Milky- Chocolate. They sold the cow's chocolate milk to pay for their pocky^^;; sadly, one morning Milky-Chocolate stopped giving chocolate milk.  
  
Tohda: - -U Moo, moo . . . *dressed in a carabao costume*  
  
Kari: OO;; I thought it was a cow, who's our costume designer anyways?  
  
Tsuzuki: That would be me~!! ^_____________^  
  
Kari: OO;; Oh. . .  
  
Watari (Jack's Mother): What shall we do~?! *Dramatic flair* without milk we will have no money or pocky~!! (A/N: Hey it rhymes)  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* Why does it seem that I'm always the main character~?! And why the heck is Watari my mother too~?!  
  
Tatsumi: Its because your Patty-sama's *twitch, twitch* favorite character, as for the second question. . . I don't know.  
  
Kari: Now Jack-  
  
Hisoka: My name is Hisoka~!!  
  
Kari: ^^ Now Hisoka was a clever girl-I mean boy, pardon me, he he he...  
  
Hisoka: *glaring daggers*  
  
Kari: Hisoka-chan was a clever boy, and he had a brilliant idea. The next day he rose so early and set off, with Milky-Chocolate plodding behind him. He planned to...  
  
Milky-Chocolate: *dancing the... umm can't think of anything just imagine Tohda, I mean Milky-Chocolate on its tip toes and twirling around wearing a flimsy skirt, you know the ones they use for ballet* - -U  
  
Tsuzuki: *chibi starry-eyed* Tohda is really good~~!  
  
Muraki: OO I can dance better you know~~!!  
  
Kari: People are paying Hisoka-chan to see Tohda dance...  
  
Hisoka: *counting money* Hmm, I wonder why that idiot in the story didn't do this instead, its easier~~!  
  
Oriya: Because there wasn't a bad but hot thief in the original story. *Emerges dressed in a skimpy outfit. Something you see in Bishoujo Sailormoon~!! You know the short (VERY short) pleated skirt and the flimsy top, with a gargantuan vein popping*  
  
Hisoka/Watari/Muraki/Tatsumi/And practically everyone else: *dies laughing*  
  
Kari: OO I thought you were supposed to be dressed in something more... manly?  
  
Oriya: How about, the 'costume designer' is just so good.  
  
Tsuzuki: *chibi inu* Why thank you Oriya-san~!! I just know this job was meant for me~~! *Starry-eyed*  
  
Oriya: Is he so... innocent?  
  
Hisoka: More like stupid.  
  
Oriya: *clears throat* be amaze by my supreme powers, boy. I shall take all your money, and pocky...? And I thought Tsuzuki was the only one who was crazed with sweets. *Takes out a 'magical' wand (A/N: kinda like something you see in Bishoujo Sailormoon)*  
  
Hisoka: *rolls down laughing* what you going to punish me by the power of the moon~!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA~!!  
  
Oriya: *now twitching with the gargantuan vein popping. Raises his wand* You dare mock me~?! You shall feel the evil wrath of the Chibi King *twitch, twitch*  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
To be continued . . .?  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Kari: Oriya-chan made his debut~~! ^-^  
  
Tatsumi: Welcome to the suicide.  
  
Tsuzuki: *glomps Oriya* I like you better than Sei-chan and Soka-chan~~! *SD inu* You appreciate my work~~!  
  
Oriya: I agree he IS stupid.  
  
Hisoka: Told you so. So minna, please review or else Oriya will punish you by the power of the moon.  
  
Oriya: KUROSAKI~~!!! DDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEE~~!!! 


	5. Jack and the Beanstalk: Chapter Five

Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Jack and the Beanstalk  
  
By: Kari  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Jack and the Beanstalk belongs to its rightful owners, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI. Warning: OOC-ness. A little bit insane but you can still read and understand it^^  
  
Kari: ^^ Yes the fifth installment of this chapter is finally ready~!! ^^ Watari-chan please help me thank the readers^^  
  
Watari: *chibi starry-eyed* Finally I get to thank the reviewers... Thanks goes to ***Muchacha-san for being the first one to review the previous chapter~!!  
  
Tsuzuki: I know I have so many adoring fans out there~!! Hisoka-chan is so mean too.  
  
Watari: ^^;; Also ***Gigi Natsuko-san so another avid fan of Hisoka who wants to see him in a dress hmm...  
  
Hisoka: I'd NEVER wear one EVER again.  
  
Tsuzuki: *chibi inu* another someone who appreciates the costumes I make~!! I feel so loved~!!  
  
Oriya: TT___TT how did I ever got messed up into this fic?  
  
Watari: Also to ***Literary Eagle-san thank you for leaving a review, yet, another one who admires Tsuzuki-san's costumes.  
  
Tsuzuki: Maybe I should be the PERMANENT costume designer~!! ^_____^  
  
Minna (except Tsuzuki and Watari): *momentarily dies*  
  
Watari: Thank you also to ***Vulpick-san, thank you for the compliment~!! And also to ***Moon Flower-san, thank you for leaving a review we are all glad you are enjoying it^^  
  
Tsuzuki: ^_____^ I should seriously be the costume designer~!! WAAH~!! Heard that Soka-chan? Moon Flower-san said I'm special~!!  
  
Hisoka: XO  
  
Watari: ^^And also to ***Koyuki-san thank you for the review, and for the things that Soka-chan will steal from the castle, will be coming up in the next chapter...  
  
Kari: Thanks Watari-chan~!! Okay minna here's the fifth chapter~!! Enjoy~!!  
  
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Oriya: *wearing a short PINK pleated skirt, and a halter top that's also PINK, and knee high boot, his hair is very shiny and soft, and he's clutching his 'magic wand-thingy' not to mention there's a large vein popping in his head*  
  
Hisoka: *still dies laughing*  
  
Tohda: *still dancing in the carabao suit*  
  
Oriya: *clears throat* AS I was saying you insolent boy, I shall punish you and-  
  
Hisoka: *now resumes to counting his money*  
  
Oriya: *gets even madder* YOU STUPID IDIOT LISTEN TO ME, SO I CAN PUNISH YOU~!!  
  
Hisoka: *turns to look at him with wide SD circular eyes* OO  
  
Oriya: *clears throat* because you have ignored me, and laugh at my costume, and have disrespected the chibi king you shall be punished most severely~~!!  
  
Hisoka: *still looking innocent* what you gonna ask me to manicure your nails for you, and comb your hair?  
  
Oriya: *looks thoughtful for a while* Hmm, that's a good idea... but no, I'll just punish you by bearing this burden and I'll steal this dancing cow- It looks like a carabao though. I'm sure the chibi king will be very pleased~!! *Evil lightning strikes and Oriya laughs maniacally with the wave of his wand he disappears with Tohda, or Milky-Chocolate*  
  
Hisoka: *still blinking and then shrugs* So, Milky-Chocolate is gone, hmm mother shall be pleased she wanted to get rid of Milky-Chocolate since most of the neighbors said that the cow's dancing skills are far better than mother's. Besides the stupid thief didn't even steal my money... Hmm, what did he mean by 'burden'?  
  
Voice: That would be me~!!  
  
Hisoka: *blinks and looks down*  
  
Tsuzuki (Voice): *looking absolutely cute*so you're my new master, ne, ne?  
  
Hisoka: *still blinks cutely. He's left leg was being glomped by a chibi inu* who are you?  
  
Tsuzuki: *still smiling* I'm you're burden~!! I'm here to make you're life a complete total hell~!!  
  
Hisoka: OO  
  
Tsuzuki: ^_______^  
  
Hisoka: OO  
  
Tsuzuki: ^_______^  
  
Hisoka: OO  
  
Tsuzuki: ^_______^  
  
Hisoka: Err, okay, so I might as well take you to mother. *Grabs Tsuzuki by the neck who is purring like a cat^^;; and brings him to his mother*  
  
Kari: While Watari was waiting for his son to come back Hisoka meanwhile was being annoyed by his 'burden'  
  
Tsuzuki: Ne, ne why are you so quiet? Ne, ne why do you dress in rags? Ne, ne where are you taking me?  
  
Hisoka: *has a gargantuan twitch popping out of hi head and is currently cursing the hot but sexy thief (self proclaimed by Oriya) that was dressed like a girl*  
  
Kari: Hisoka finally arrived at the front of their door, and literally throws the door open, with his very cute 'burden' named Tsuzuki.  
  
Watari: ^______^ Hello my son did you make any money, and where is Milky- Chocolate-chan? He's supposed to teach me a new dance move~!! *proceeds to glomp Hisoka's right leg (his left leg was being glomped by Tsuzuki)*  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* Mother, Milky-Chocolate was kidnapped by a gay, and he had punished me with this burden. *points idly to Tsuzuki who was glomping him*  
  
Watari: *eyes turns sparkly SD and proceeds to hug the so-called 'burden' and frees Hisoka of the glomping*  
  
Hisoka: OO  
  
Tsuzuki: *purring like a cat* Mother, I need some milk~!!  
  
Watari: Soka-chan get your 'burden' some milk~~!!  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* since, when did you call me Watari 'mother'? *walks out the door to buy some milk*  
  
Kari: Obedient Hisoka-chan bought the milk as Watari-san had told him and returned as fast as he can.  
  
Tsuzuki: *drinks all the milk in one gulp* I'm still hungry I'd want all the pocky in the world~!!  
  
Watari: ^__________^ Soka-chan buy Tsuzuki-chan his pocky.  
  
Hisoka: *twich, twitch*  
  
Kari: Hisoka being the obedient son he is bought all the pocky he can find (and believe me all the pocky in the world isn't a small amount) and nothing was left of his money but a single cent. Hisoka came back home and Tsuzuki amazed Watari and Hisoka by finishing EVERYTHING in a matter of five seconds.  
  
Tsuzuki: I'm still hungry~!!  
  
Watari ^____________^ Soka-chan buy Tsuzuki anything~!  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* but all we have is a cent~!! The only thing we can possibly buy is a piece of jellybean.  
  
Kari: So Hisoka-chan bought the jellybean and when he came back home...  
  
Tsuzuki: *pops the jellybean into his mouth and immediately spits it out the window* TT__TT it tastes awful it wasn't sweet at all~!!  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* you wasted money.  
  
Watari: ^___________^ Now, now Hisoka-chan it was only a cent.  
  
Tsuzuki: I want to sleep. Sleep~!!  
  
Hisoka: *twitch, twitch* Where is the 'burden' going to sleep?  
  
Kari: Oi, oi Hisoka-chan the 'burden' has a name^^;;  
  
Hisoka: I don't care, 'burden' you can sleep with mother. *immediately shuts the door to his room*  
  
Watari: ^__________^ *grabs Tsuzuki by the collar who I might add is still purring* you go sleep in the bed, I sleep in the floor burden-chan.  
  
Kari: OO;; Watari-san, its Tsuzuki. That night it rained so hard and the jellybean that Tsuzuki spitted out grew...  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
To be continued . . .?  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Kari: Okay, minna review please. Sorry if there are any mistakes I didn't check the spelling since I'm rushing with my MKR fic.  
  
Oriya: TT_TT I want to get out of here~!!  
  
Tatsumi: NO, you cannot I am the scriptwriter and I am the one who makes the rules... (insert ever so evil laughter)  
  
Oriya: TT_TT  
  
Kari: ^^;; Okay ja for now~! Please remember to leave a review. 


	6. Jack and the Beanstalk: Chapter Six

Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Jack and the Beanstalk  
  
By: Kari  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Jack and the Beanstalk belongs to its rightful owners, I don't own anything, so please don't sue.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI. Warning: OOC-ness. A little bit insane but you can still read and understand it^^ Oh, and yeah the Jack and the Beanstalk arc might be little longer than the Rapunzel arc, this may last for about four or five or more chapters.  
  
Kari: Hmmm, I wonder whom will I ask to thank our lovely reviewers... How about you Oriya-chan~!!  
  
Oriya: TT_TT Thanks goes to ***Literary Eagle-san for being the first *sob* one to review the fifth installment *sob* and yes Tsuzuki is a cute 'burden' I want to get out of here  
  
Watari: ^^;;  
  
Tsuzuki: Oriya-chan why are you crying is it because I'm much cuter than you are?  
  
Oriya: *twitch, twitch*  
  
Hisoka: I don't think that seems to be the problem...  
  
Oriya: Anyways thank you to ***Vulpick-san, and yes you are the second person to include this in the review that Tsuzuki-san is... cute...  
  
Tsuzuki: *chibi starry-eyed*  
  
Oriya: Also to ***Koyuki-san thank you for leaving a review...  
  
Hisoka: At least someone pities me.  
  
Oriya: to ***Moon Flower-san, thank you and I have no comment about your review... *bursts into tears*  
  
Tatsumi: Hmm, you do look nice in that sailormoon outfit...  
  
Oriya: to ***Gigi Natsuko-san thank you for the review and the compliment as well, yes I already know I'm VERY sexy, and please do me the favor of combing my hair. *Sniff, sniff* this kind of job gives me split ends *sniff, sniff*  
  
Tsuzuki: 8DDDD I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT~~!!! YES I'LL MAKE HISOKA A NEW DRESS, THIS TIME SOMETHING MUCH MORE REVEALING... ^_______________________^  
  
Hisoka: XO *dies AGAIN*  
  
Oriya: also to ***empath-no-tenshi-san, yes this should fall under angst but Kari would not do it~~!  
  
Kari: ^^ thanks for the compliment, yes that's one of my favorite sayings, 'laughter is the best medicine'  
  
Hisoka: but it brought me nothing but tears~~! TT________TT  
  
Oriya: I second that ;___;  
  
Tsuzuki: I think this is one of the most adorable fics I've read~~! *Chibi starry-eyed*  
  
Tatsumi: Tsuzuki-san this is the ONLY fic you have read...  
  
Tsuzuki: OO;; I see, oh, well minna enjoy the six installment of this wonderful, adorable, beautiful-  
  
Hisoka: He means hell, torture, and agony...  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Narrator (NO whatever you do it will still be Kari): Hisoka was still sleeping when he rolled over to a side and felt something sticky and wet. Groggily opening his eyes Hisoka found someone sleeping next to him.  
  
Hisoka: *wiping the saliva off his face*  
  
Muraki: *makes a face* EEEWWWWWWW~~!  
  
Kari: OO;; what's Muraki doing here?  
  
Muraki: OO;; oh, me I'm the housemaid~~!  
  
Kari: Since when did they ever have a housemaid?  
  
Tatsumi: Since I became the scriptwriter...  
  
Kari: OO;; O~okay... Anyways back to the story...  
  
Muraki: Hisoka-dono, ohayou gozaimasu~~~!! *Dressed in a plain dress and wearing an apron*  
  
Hisoka: Nani? =___=  
  
Tsuzuki: Mew... ohayou Hisoka-dono *continues to lick and glomp Hisoka*  
  
Hisoka: What? Why is there a talking bug next to me?  
  
Tsuzuki: *breaks down into tears* that's so mean~~! I'm a BURDEN~!! NOT a bug... Besides I'm too cute to be a bug~~! ;_____________; I want to go back with Oriya-san he was MUCH nicer~~~!  
  
Hisoka: =____= Oh, and who's the mental patient standing next to you?  
  
Muraki: *proceeds to hug Tsuzuki a. k. a. the burden and both sobs* Burden- san you are right, he IS mean... ;____________;  
  
Kari: Oi, oi shouldn't you call him Tsuzuki, Muraki-san? Anyways Hisoka ignored the two idiots in the room who kept his company-  
  
Muraki and Tsuzuki: *cries louder* WE ARE _NOT_ IDIOTS~~~!! TT____TT  
  
Kari: OO;; It's in the script, sue Tatsumi-chan. As I was saying Hisoka shifted his gaze outside and was met with an unexpected sight. The jellybean that Tsuzuki-san had spitted had grown into a big beanstalk- correction a JELLYbeanstalk that went up SO high that it reached the heavens above. Hisoka still half asleep only stared at the jellybeanstalk and yawned.  
  
Hisoka: Why's there an apple tree in the garden...? Oh, wait we DON'T have a garden...?  
  
Kari: Umm, Hisoka-san that's a jellybeanstalk...  
  
Hisoka: Oh, maybe its probably one of mother's doings she does this crazy things...  
  
Muraki and Tsuzuki: *stopped crying and is now listening to Hisoka with keen interest*  
  
Hisoka: Did you know that mother once auditioned Milky-Chocolate to a dance contest and dressed him up in a boa constrictor costume... She could've just asked him-or is it her...? to dance but instead she made Milky- Chocolate strip... and then there's this one time when she roasted this small owl called 003 or something and ate it half cooked. And you know what she even applies make-up made of different fungi. I'm used to it by now...  
  
Muraki and Tsuzuki: *listening to Hisoka very interested*  
  
Kari: OO *is flipping through her script and looking where the heck did everything Hisoka said came from*  
  
Watari: *literally kicks the door opens* BURDEN-SAN~~~~!  
  
Tsuzuki: *is jumping around like a happy inu... oh, wait he is an inu* ^O^ WATARI-CHAN~~!  
  
Hisoka: I'm gonna go back to sleep... ZZZzzzz - -  
  
Muraki: *is now sweeping the floor and singing*  
  
Watari: *now dancing with Tsuzuki* Hisoka-chan why don't you go climb that jellbeanstalk?  
  
Hisoka: Zzzz - -  
  
Watari: *drops Tsuzuki in the floor unceremoniously and wakes up his son*  
  
Kari: I wonder who the father is...? Watari tried to wake him up but no matter what he ( or is it she?) did Hisoka would not wake up... hat was until Tsuzuki helped him (or her...)  
  
Tsuzuki: *gets a box out of nowhere* this will wake him up~~~!!  
  
Watsri and Muraki: ?__?  
  
Tsuzuki: opens the box to reveal a...  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Kari: -_-U pointless chapter I'm so ashamed... but please r/r the seventh installment will come out as soon as I can. School is starting... damnit. Sorry if the chapter sucked... *sigh* I'm depressed school is starting...  
  
Everyone: *rejoicing*  
  
Kari: OO;; *instantly brigtens up* But I can still torture the YnM cast~~! ^________^v  
  
Everyone: *promptly dies* 


	7. Jack and the Beanstalk: Chapter Seven

Kari-chan's Fairytale Collection: Jack and the Beanstalk  
  
By: Kari  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei is a rightful property of Yoko Matsushita- sensei and all related terms. Jack and the Beanstalk belongs to its rightful owners, I don't own anything, so please don't sue. Also I got the version of this story from Collier's Junior Classics, 'Once Upon A Time' but of course there weren't deranged maids, and there wasn't a sexy hot thief, and no cute burdens^^  
  
Author's Notes: Just a reminder to everyone, this is NOT YAOI. Think whatever you want, this isn't YAOI. Warning: OOC-ness. A little bit insane but you can still read and understand it^^ Oh, and yeah the Jack and the Beanstalk arc might be little longer than the Rapunzel arc, this may last for about four or five or more chapters. Did you know I was listening to Hayashibara Megumi when I was doing this? Yup I sometimes listen to J-pop. Well, not that Northern Light can be called J-pop, but I think it is? Or isn't? LAME CHAPTER UP AHEAD~!!  
  
Kari: Hello wonderful people~~! I want Milky-chocolate to thank the readers~~! ^^  
  
Tatsumi: You mean Tohda...  
  
Kari: ^^ Exactly~~! Go on Tohda-chan don't be shy~! I'm sure the readers are anxious to here you speak~~!  
  
Tohda: -_-U MMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOO~~!!  
  
Everyone (except Tohda): OO;;  
  
Kari: O~okay maybe 003-chan can do it.  
  
Watari: But I already roasted Zero-chan and ate him half cooked.  
  
Everyone (except Watari): OO;;  
  
Kari: Oh, yeah... Maybe I should do it myself... Thanks goes to ***Gigi Natsuko-san for being the first one to review the sixth chapter~~!  
  
Oriya: ^__________^ Yes, thank you may hair is so glossy, and beautiful now~~! It's better than asking Muraki to comb it~~! He actually uses a fork when he combs his hair and rotten eggs for conditioner~~! Maybe that's why his hair are dead~~!! They turned white, BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA~!!  
  
Muraki: I thought you'd never say that to anyone~~! That's our secret~!! I HATE YOU~~! TT__________TT *runs off crying* NOW THE WHOLE WORLD WILL NOW WHY MY IS HAIR ADORABLY IRRESISTABLE~~!  
  
Tatsumi: *clears throat* they're drunk.  
  
Tsuzuki: *gobbling the pocky, apple pies, and chocolate cakes and finishes everything in a matter of seconds* ARIGATOU ***GIGI NATSUKO-SAN~!!! Yes, I'LL DO IT~~!! DEFINITELY~!!  
  
Hisoka: *dies again*  
  
Watari and Muraki: *giggling like mad*  
  
Kari: OO;; I see, okay next to ***Koyuki-san, yes very interesting question... Hnn, since I'm the authoress can I say because I want to...? Thank you for the review, and let's ask Tsuzuki-chan. Tsuzuki-chan want to be Koyuki-san's burden?  
  
Tsuzuki: *turns into a chibi inu, and nods* Mew~!! ^_____^  
  
Muraki: ***Koyuki-san NO one could possibly sell me~~! I'm too sexy~~! ^_____^  
  
Tatsumi: He's drunk ladies and gentlemen.  
  
Kari: ^^;; I guess that would be a yes. Anyways to ***Vulpick-san thank you very much for the support~~! Heh, heh sorry for the rather pointless chapter, hope this will make up for it...  
  
Hisoka: I want to die, this is MUCH worse than hell. Compared to this hell is a sanctuary~~! NNNOOOOO~~! Not another dress~!!  
  
Kari: To ***Literary Eagle-san yes another compliment for dear Tsuzuki- chan.  
  
Tsuzuki: *chibi starry-eyed* Everyone LURVES my costumes~! *Blissfully sighs* Thank you ***Literary Eagle-san~~!  
  
Kari: Than to ***xiamei-san, yes what an interesting question... Maybe I should ask my readers, anyways thank you VERY much for the review, GREATLY appreciated^^ also to ***EmpressXu-san we're very glad that you like it^^ Thank you VERY much please enjoy the chapter.  
  
Tsuzuki: HISOKA~~! I FINISHED The DRESS~~!! *Chibi inu with hearts everywhere* ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?  
  
Hisoka: *promptly dies* XO  
  
Kari: Maybe I've been killing Hisoka TOO often, ne? And to ***Cerridwen Aerin Ellorin-san, thank you very much~!! ^-^ Okay minna on to the insanity~!!  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Tsuzuki: *opens the box to reveal a green halter type dress which ends about below the knees that perfectly matches Hisoka-chan's eyes, and another dress which is pink that is off-shoulder and has fluffy sleeves, and lots of frills* Hisoka-chan I made a dress for you (heart)~~! Please wear (heart) it. I just know you'll love it (heart)~~!  
  
(A/N: About the '(heart)' thing-y sorry I just thought it would look cute. I've been reading some manga translations from theria.net lately...)  
  
Hisoka: *immediately wakes up and kisses his mother on the cheek* Goodbye mother I will climb the jellybeanstalk and NEVER come back unless this burden is gone~~! JA NE~~!! *rushes out the door*  
  
Tsuzuki: TT_____TT *whimpers* doesn't he like it~~~!? UUUUWWWWAAAAA~~!!  
  
Muraki: *turns into an SD sparkly eyed and gets the green dress* UWA~!! Such a kawaii dress, burden-san can I have this dress instead, don't mind Hisoka-dono she just doesn't have a fashion sense.  
  
Hisoka: *appears through the window of the room* I AM A _HE_ I'M A MALE DAMNIT~~~!  
  
Muraki: Oh, I always thought you were a girl~~! Gomen nasai Hisoka-dono...  
  
Tsuzuki: *sparkly-eyed* YOU CAME BACK HISOKA-DONO~~! *grabs the pink dress* you want to wear this on your journey?  
  
Hisoka: *is gone and now seen climbing the jellybeanstalk*  
  
Tsuzuki: TT____TT HISOKA-DONO HATES MY DRESSES~~~!  
  
Watari: *comforts Tsuzuki* don't worry burden-san I love your dresses~~!!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Honto ne?  
  
Watari: Hai~!! ^-^  
  
Tsuzuki: *Chibi sparkly eyed*  
  
Kari: Anyways back to Hisoka he climbed the beanstalk, and climbed, and climbed, and he climbed, and he climbed and he climbed (you get the idea...) till he reached the sky.  
  
Hisoka: Why is it so up high?  
  
Kari: Patience Hisoka... And when he got there he found a long broad road going straight as a dart. So he walked along until he came to a great big tall house and there was a man.  
  
Hisoka: Ohayou gozaimasu, mister, could you be as so kind as to give me some breakfast?  
  
Man (SohRyu or is it Seiryuu? Or is it some other spelling?): Is it breakfast that you want? *Glares darkly at Hisoka* you'll become breakfast if you don't move off from here~!! Hakushaku-sama likes to harass boys your age now go~!!  
  
Hisoka: *stares at the man* don't you mean 'eat'?  
  
SohRyu/Seiryuu: *twitch* NO I mean 'harass'  
  
Hisoka: Oh... Please mister give me something to eat~!! I have nothing to eat since yesterday~!! *Mumbles* the stupid burden ate everything.  
  
Kari: Well the Hakushaku's wife-  
  
SohRyu/Seiryuu: I AM NOT HIS FRIGGIN' WIFE~!! I AM HIS GUARD~!!  
  
Hisoka: *pats SohRyu in the shoulder reassuringly* don't worry when you see Tatsumi you can bit him up to a bloody pulp...  
  
Kari: heh, heh gomen ... The Hakushaku's guard let Hisoka into the kitchen, and gave him some bread cheese and milk (Hisoka: Thank goodness it isn't pocky) But Hisoka hadn't half finished when there was a girlish scream.  
  
Boy (Imagine a six-year-old Tatsumi *sigh*): I DO NOT SCREAM IN A GIRLISH MANNER~~!!  
  
Kari: ^-^ Tatsumi-chan you're so cute~!!  
  
Chibi Tatsumi: You boy *points to Hisoka* what are you doing here? Do you want to be harassed by ojiji?  
  
(A/N: Mwahaha have I mentioned this is an AU-ish fairytale fic)  
  
Hisoka: This is weird... Err, no I was just running away from the stupid burden that that stupid thief left me...  
  
Chibi Tatsumi: You mean Oriya?  
  
Hisoka: Yeah that one... Is he some sort of cross dresser or something?  
  
Chibi Tatsumi: Err he punishes those who make fun of his costume...  
  
Hisoka: Who's the chibi king?  
  
Chibi Tatsumi: That would be me~!! ^-^  
  
Hisoka: XO  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Kari: Back to Watari-san, Tsuzuki-san (a. k. a. the burden) and Muraki-san (a. k. a. the deranged housemaid)... All too familiar sparkly, flowery, hearts, glittery effect, surrounds everyone... ^^;;  
  
Watari: *giggling like crazy wearing the pink dress with lots of frills and laces, and have I mentioned it ends in mid thigh? *  
  
Tsuzuki: Why don't we follow Hisoka-dono~?! I miss him already~!!  
  
Muraki: *whines* But all that climbing will ruin my dress~!!  
  
Tsuzuki: Will use the elevator~!!  
  
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
Author's Notes: SohRyu made his debut~!! And a Chibi Tatsumi who actually smiled~!! MWAHAHAHAHA~!! What else will the deranged author plan to do~?!  
  
Everyone: OO;;  
  
Conclusion: Listening to J-pop does things to your mind... Northern Lights give you strange, whimsical ideas... Never open the refrigerator, EVER again (weird things live in there)... Tatsumi is so cute when he was a child (mental image, but it would make you drool)... Anyone knows where to get Over Soul (mankin) and Heart of Sword (RK) mp3s? My sister hates them, so I'm going to annoy her to death~!! Have I mentioned I'm a sadist? 


End file.
